We went to the hospital instead.
Andres cut his finger while attempting to disassemble a coconut to bring along on our picnic. We though he'd cut a flap about three-quarters of an inch long, but when we got to the emergency room they determined that it wasn't quite separated on the bottom edge, so really he'd stabbed the knife entirely through the finger.
Because it was stuck down nicely (he'd been holding ice and a towel on it all the way) and the knife hadn't had raw meat or anything on it, they just rinsed it a bit, then put surgical glue on it and splinted the finger so he'll remember not to use it too much. Everyone was very nice.
I am so glad we have insurance. So so glad.
And then, on the way home, we stopped by the grocery. While bringing the groceries in, the newly-purchased bottle of wine fell off the table and shattered into millions of tiny transparent shards.
I needed to mop anyway.