I got it from brooksmoses, who got it from elynne, and there's a Tom Lehrer song that goes like that but isn't talking about memes.
1. Do you have on a lot of make-up? I do not now and have never actually owned any makeup. I have worn makeup only at the instigation of other people: once at age 12, when a Glamour Shots opened in the mall and Mom and I went to investigate, and several times at sleepovers where other, more femme, people decided it would be fun to see what I looked like with makeup on.
2. How much do you put on? None at all.
3. How long does it take you to get ready? From consciousness to door, about 30 minutes. If I'm already awake and clean but am changing clothes to go somewhere nice, it usually takes about 5-10 minutes for me to locate and don nicer clothes, put my hair up, etc., and then another 45 minutes or so to chivvy andres_s_p_b towards the door, drag him away from the computer, and explain that I do not care which of the two postulated shirts he puts on, but is he really planning to wear those shoes with that belt?
4. Do you put on a lot of lipgloss? I use Carmex when it is cold and/or dry, because otherwise my lips flake up and fall off. If caught without Carmex, I may borrow alternative substances, which have occasionally included actual lipgloss.
5. Does your lipgloss smell good? No. But it's tingly!
6. Do you carry a purse? I have a backpack, which serves certain purse-like functions but is not always with me. Essential supplies live in my wallet, which goes in my pocket if I don't have my backpack. I do not buy pants which do not have sufficiently large pockets.
7. What color is it? The backpack is blue; the wallet is black but needs to be replaced.
8. Do you have a Coach bag? No.
9. Do you have a Louis Vuttion? No.
10. How many purses do you have? 0
11. Do you like to wear nailpolish? I don't own any. My fingernails are too short to look good in polish -- the last thing I want to do is attract attention to them! Sometimes in the summer I think about painting my toenails, but I've never gotten around to finding a good color.
12. How often do you get your nails done? Never.
13. Do you like manicures? I haven't tried that, but I don't think I would because I don't like having my hands immobilized.
14. What about pedicures? Haven't tried that either. My grandmother gave me a home pedicure kit once, with sandpaper and things, but I haven't used it.
15. Do you have a usual nail salon you go to? No.
16. Where do you get your hair cut? It hasn't been cut in several years. It could use a cut, though, because it's gone a bit scraggly at the ends. The last time it was cut was at a $5 haircut place in Austin, Texas, which I went to regularly before I decided to grow out my bangs.
17. Do you dye your hair? No. I think it might look nice with a green stripe, but to get a color in there I'd have to bleach it first, which is very bad for hair.
18. Do you straighten your hair? It comes pretty straight.
19. Do you have lots of pairs of shoes? I don't think so, but every time I count I wind up with a larger number than I would have guessed. I do have two pairs of silver high heels, left over from my high school prom, which are clearly the least practical shoes I own.
20. What are your favorite shoes? Most of the time I wear one or another pair of Reebok Princesses, which are sneakers. The black ones last longer, so I wear those more often. I like the sandals I bought last summer for work, because they are both comfortable and attractive. My hiking boots are of course awesome. I used to be very fond of my Teva sandals, because they're waterproof, but they are disintegrating and I haven't found a good replacement yet. Now that I'm in California I expect I will need lots more sandals because toes want to be free and the weather around here seems to be pretty cooperative about that.
21. Do you wear heels everywhere? God no.
22. Can you walk in heels and not fall over? I am okay if the tall part of the heel is as wide as the heel of the shoe. Skinnier heels are a problem, and heels more than two inches tall are also a problem. However, my usual problem with walking in high heels is blistering, not instability.
23. Where do you buy your clothes? The mall, usually. I would like to try more thrift stores and things, but I need a Native Guide.
24. Do you go shopping every week? No. I should shop for clothes more often, because when I wait until I really need something it is terribly stressful and I can't just stop when I start to get upset, but about the most often I could stand would be once, maybe sometimes twice, in a given month.
25. What's your favorite store? The one that doesn't exist, where they sell clothes that are the same shape as my body and keep selling the same style for years and years and years instead of discontinuing it when they realize I like it.
26. How much do you usually spend? I won't pay more than $35 or so for a pair of pants (unless I actually do discover some that really, really fit, in which case all bets are off and I intend to lay in a lifetime supply, but that hasn't happened yet). I have an easier time finding shirts, oddly, so I tend not to spend much on them either.
27. Have you ever been in Dior? No, and I think that sort of store actually has some sort of me-repellant electromagnetic field set up.
28. Do you follow fashion trends? In college, the local paper had a "Fashion" section every week, which I would read because the pictures were funny (I remember the one with the woman walking down the runway in a big white dress, with four or five other people under the skirt of the dress posing in peculiar shapes). And I notice when they decide not to have any colors I like in a particular season, which happens with distressing frequency.
29. Do you have a pair of huge sunglasses? Not huge, no. My sibling gave me a nice polarized pair for Christmas, which I like but need to find a tiny screwdriver to mess with the size adjustment. The left lens interferes with my eyelashes, which is very uncomfortable.
30. How many pairs of earrings do you have? None. My ears aren't pierced. I wore some clip-ons at the aforementioned Glamour Shots, and wow do those things hurt.
31. Do you wear hoop earrings? No.
32. Do you have a lot of skirts? Right now, I own one skirt, which was given to me by my grandmother because it didn't fit her anymore. I does fit me, but I haven't ever worn it out of the house because it's shorter than knee-length. I never learned how to sit properly in short skirts. I prefer pants because I don't have to think about them at all and they look better on me. I would kind of like some ankle-length, brightly colored, light material "hippie skirts" for summer, but I haven't stumbled across any yet and I don't know where to go looking.
33. Do you get your eyebrows done? Augh! No, no I don't. ::cowers, protectively covering valuable eyebrows::
34. Can you apply mascara without opening your mouth? I've never tried applying mascara. Does opening your mouth help? Why?
35. Do you wear a lot of eyeliner? I don't like having things near my eyes.
36. Do you do Pilates or yoga? Nope. I went to a yoga class with my mother once, because the stretching seemed like the sort of thing I might enjoy, but the pseudo-mystical talk of chakras and things put me right off it.
37. Do you have a lot of magazines? Magazines are girly? When did this happen? I don't have any subscriptions right now, but I do have quite a few back issues of Natural History and Discover.
In conclusion: so not femme.