Well. I think we can get everything that needs to be done on the phone done from here before we move over to the new place, and presumably Internet access can be borrowed from somewhere (local library, say), but still. All you have to do is fill in a form and flip a switch, people! If you tell me which switch to flip I will open the junction box and do it myself!
(If you, the reader, happen to know in detail why it is in fact much more complicated than flipping a switch and I should relax because it does actually take two weeks to turn on phone service, do please enlighten me. Conversely, if you, the reader, happen to know that it is so that simple, let me know so I can be really righteously irritated instead of having this niggling suspicion that I might be being slightly unreasonable.)