March 19th, 2012

Venus

Also, I Can Kill You With My Brain

The other day I had a rather unpleasant surprise from the El Camino YMCA. It turns out that before one can attend any of their prenatal exercise classes, one must produce a note of consent from one's doctor. They have a handy little "Pre/Post Natal CONSENT FORM" for the doctor to fill out, which I have a copy of here. I complained about this a bit when I got home: chinders suggested I put dead fish on their desks. andres_s_p_b suggested I forge the requested paperwork. After playing along long enough to e-mail my doctor and see if there's a good time this week for me to drop in and get the form actually filled out, I thought about it a bit more and decided exactly how annoyed I was.

I am very, very annoyed.

I have written the following letter, which I intend to send to the Executive Director, both Associate Executive Directors, and the Group Exercise Director. My goals here are twofold:
1. Blister their ears so badly their hair catches fire.
2. Effect immediate policy change.
I consider 2 less likely, so I'll settle for 1 if I have to.

Have a look. See if you can spot any ways it could be improved towards either of those goals. Also, do you think I should have my doctor countersign the letter or at least review the paragraph she's in, or is that just playing into their hands? Furthermore, while I'm planning to e-mail each director a separate personally-addressed copy, should I mail four physical copies as well or just one? If just one, does "Dear Directors:" work as a salutation?

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  • Current Mood
    angry white-hot incandescent rage
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