July 4th, 2008

red river hog

Concord Grapes --> Eyeballs --> Concord Grape-Flavored Eyeballs

brooksmoses has a grapevine. It has lots and lots of grapes on it. So we were talking about grapes. (Slightly paraphrased, 'cause this was a couple days ago now.)

B: It's funny how different the associations we have with Concord grapes are. I like them, because (stuff about home and so forth), whereas you think they taste like artificial grape flavor[1].
T: Also if you peel them they feel just like eyeballs!
B: :/
T: Well, they do!
T (speculatively): Hey, I wonder if you could make grape-flavored eyeballs. They're all squishy anyway, so you'd just have to suck out the insides and put in grape flavor. Maybe jelly?
T (getting into it): They make syringe things for putting jelly in jelly doughnuts; you could use one of those. Or would that be too big? I guess you could use a smaller syringe, but then you might have to thin the jelly with something --
B: ::looks distressed::
T: Good thing I'm a vegetarian, huh?
B: Yes.

And then he proposed that I can only come up with these things because I am a vegetarian, so it's all over there in the not-food space anyway. He's got a point there -- grape-flavored eyeballs are not any grosser than steak, and people talk about steak all the time. It's only fair.

[1] I grew up liking grapes and not liking artificial grape flavor (or grape jelly). Then in Pittsburgh, I tried Concord grapes for the first time. "Ah! These are what artificial grape flavor is supposed to taste like! ... I don't like them."