June 9th, 2007


I feel better now!

Rather suddenly, yesterday, ::whumph:: I felt better. Way better.

I don't really expect it to last; there's still lots to fix, so I will keep on with that and continue paying careful attention to mood management[1]. But it is very nice.

So this is my three-step plan for Fixing My Life:
1. Correct minor irritations.
2. Make improvements.
3. Add new things.

I have made rather a lot of progress on step 1. So far I have gotten a new watch, so I don't have to fiddle with / think about / look at / be distressed by the sticky-out bit of the disintegrating band of the old one[2], found new sunglasses that fulfill all my criteria[3], and finished re-ripping the CDs I needed to fix the track information in iTunes. Tidying things up also goes in this category; stuff being in my way when I want to sit somewhere or use something is distinctly annoying, as is looking at dust and crumbs and so forth.

Still to come are continued maintenance cleaning, seeing if I can get the new watch to a size between "a bit tight" and "too loose to fasten the catch" (this will require tools), and arranging a hook of some sort for this headset[4]. And whatever else comes up. It helps if I let myself get distracted -- if I'm in the middle of a larger project, and notice some little annoying thing, I should fix it right then, and then finish the larger project, rather than trying to remember it and make space for it later. Speaking of which -- there, hook installed.

Step 2, making improvements, will involve more cleaning, of the organizing / throwing things out sort. I've done some of this already, but there are quite a few areas of the house that are stuffed with crap. It's not in my way, so it's not making anything worse, but it would be better if we got rid of the bits we don't want and packed the rest into the most space-efficient storage possible. It will also include steps to improve the job situation, small quantities of stuff acquisition (brown shoes, music, etc.), and getting my finances in order[5].

I'm not sure what goes in step 3 yet. Kayaking, I think, or some other kind of new and different activity. Working on some of the projects I've been meaning to start / get back to (a story or two, Physics for Pirates, learning CSS and JavaScript). Presumably, by the time I have got steps 1 and 2 mostly done, I will be feeling enough better that doing things will start to sound like fun again, and good things to do will present themselves.

[1] This is the main thing I have learned: When I get like this, I need to stop paying attention to what I feel like doing, and just think about what I will feel like after I do things. I don't feel like exercising, but I need it. I don't feel like listening to blisteringly peppy music, but I'll feel better afterward. Etc. It's an oddly detached way to run my life, but it seems to be working.

[2] Apparently my skin exudes some kind of powerful leather-destroying acid. The new watch is metal, which is much nicer.

* polarized
* gray lenses (green or blue would also have been acceptable)
* comfortable
* not stupid-looking
* sufficiently large
They are awesome. I am pleased. I have properly protected peripheral vision. Andres says I look like a motorcycle cop.

[4] My parents requested that I sign up for Skype and get a headset so I can talk to them. Since the headset needs to be plugged in at the back of the computer, it's a bit of an annoyance to get out and set up every time it's needed, but it's in the way on the desk. Therefore, I shall put a hook on the back of the filing cabinet from which it can hang when not in use, so it is within reach but out of sight.

[5] And over the course of last week, I found most of the information I need to do this. The trick is breaking the changes up into teeny-tiny steps. No individual little bit of change -- opening an account, closing an account, calling a company with questions -- is really all that difficult, but in the aggregate it seems very overwhelming. Financial stuff is unreasonably difficult for me.