2. It's probably viral, but given how long it's been going on (since Thanksgiving), here is a quick course of antibiotics to knock out any incipient pneumonia/ear infection/what have you.
3. Also, some cough syrup with codeine. "Don't take it if you're not planning on a nap."
4. No, don't go back to work at all this week.
5. But you'll probably be feeling better by Monday.
If you see me lurking around on the internet somewhere, ask me if I've had anything to drink in the last hour. I don't think I've been getting enough liquids.