1. The Standard Poodle measures 0.37 cubits, or a small fraction of a furlong. What is your favourite inappropriate unit of measurement?
I've always been fond of furlongs per fortnight. Hands are also entertaining.
2. Poodles actually are pretty neat dogs. Do you like dogs? Why? Why not?
Yes, I do. We're planning on getting one after the holidays, if we can find one that fits our rather complicated requirements. I like them because they are soft and warm and friendly. Advantages to having a dog include: company will encourage me to take more walks; soft and nice to pet; fun to train and have trained. Disadvantages include: may be obnoxious until trained; will complicate daily scheduling; ongoing expense; potential for destruction of household items.
3. Roast poodle is not a common dish. How would one go about roasting a poodle?
Um.... They're fairly large, so you'd probably have to take it apart. Or do a sort of luau-style firepit thing. Perhaps one should look for instructions on roasting goats, as a baseline.
4. Are swords effective against massed zombie poodle attacks?
Not for a big enough mass. You'd need some kind of zone defense. Now, if the zombie poodles were coming at you one by one through a door, you could probably take down quite a few with a sword. Or just close the door.
5. Would you vote for a poodle that ran for office? Why or why not?
No, because a poodle is not competent to sign contracts for itself, much less for a larger polity.
I might vote for one that ran for dogcatcher, if dogcatcher were an elected office, because I am magnetic and it is hard to resist sufficiently large deposits of irony.