Tiger Spot (tiger_spot) wrote,
Tiger Spot

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My Brain Does Not Like Some Possibilities

I mentioned we're putting together wills. This means I've been thinking about what to do if I die a lot lately. I noticed something weird. My brain is perfectly happy to consider things like "What if I'm hit by a bus and die?" or "What if the plane to Hawaii goes down and we all die?" or "What if a giant meteor hits the house during Sunday dinner and we really-all-all-of-us die?" and various other permutations of accidents.

It won't think about what happens if anybody gets sick and dies.

It occurred to me on the way home that getting sick and dying is in fact more likely than being hit by a bus, but my brain just kind of skips right off. Getting sick and dying is not on the table here, for my brain. A certain amount of long-term, "Okay, thirty years from now Andres' risk of heart attack will be a lot higher," yes; "What if I get cancer?" no.

I think this is throwing off my risk assessment. I keep fretting about only having two spaces on the little will questionnaire for primary beneficiary and if-that-one's-dead beneficiary. Because I have thought beyond that point -- I haven't quite hit "What if Yellowstone goes and EVERYONE IN NORTH AMERICA dies?" yet, but I can account for what I want to have happen in quite a number of combinations of dead family members!

But really. We're likely to go one at a time. I can rewrite the darned thing in between. It is not like my wishes in situations beyond those presented in the document will be unclear.

(It's okay, really: I'll stop fretting Thursday evening when we've seen the lawyer. Until we're getting ready to have kids; then we'll have to do this again.)

(And when the giant meteor hits the house, remember: I PLANNED FOR THIS! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THERE WASN'T SPACE ON THE FORM!)
Tags: introspection
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